Welcome Friends To Marty’s Website. This Is A Fun Place That You Will Enjoy. Today’s Update Is What I Like To Call “Fun With Warning Signs.” The Following Web Address (Which You Can Also Find In The Links Section) Is The Absolute Best Website I Have Ever Seen In My Entire Life, And The Best Part Is, The Good Part Is Free! That’s Right Kiddies, FREE! No Money, Notta, Zip, Zero! So Read On. In This Update I Took On Something Awful.com’s Forum Goons Head To Head. I’ll Let You See Who The Winner Is. (PS: This Is A Vulgar Update, Please Forgive It, It Only Adds To The Hilarity.)

Bang!! You Lose Faggot! Stylish And Unique, And It Has A Message Ive Never Seen Before. Hands Down (Or Hands Up If The Cops Are Shootin Yer Ass) The Winner. 9/10

You Have No Friends! This Is Also Very Stylish, But Not Unique.. Something About The Phone In The Air, Even Though They Said Put The Phone Down. 6/10

‘Nuff Said. Beat That SA! 10/10

You Lose… Although This One Is Pretty Damn Funny 9.9/10

“My Mommy Beat My Daddy, Coz I Just Took A Poop! I Just Took A Poop! I Just Took A Poop! Don’t Light Fire Or You’ll Expire Coz I Just Took A Poop! 11/10 (Extra Bonus For Rhyming Explanation)

Damn It!!! I Get More Than A Perfect Score And Im Still Defeated….. Damn Goatsie.CX!! 12/10

There Is No Way To Defeat This Sign. Not Only Is The Picture On It A Man Fondling A Spare Tire On A Car, But It Tells You Where The Dreaded Richard Slimmons Is! Im A Pony! Im A Pony! Shut The Fuck Up. 10/10

HaHaHaHaHa! Suck My Dick SomethinAwful. I Defeated You. Yes You Do Suck At Bicycle Repair You Bafoon. Must I Remind You About That One Time, With That One Guy, In That One Place? 8/10

What Else Can I Say? Those Are What I Are, And I Cant Change What I Are! 9/10

You May Be Gay.. But I Am A Fluffy, Phat, Faggot! I Win. You Lose. You Are An Idiot. Ha HaHa HaHaHaHaHa HaHaHaHaHa! 5/10

What More Of A Warning Could You Need Than That? Except Maybe You Should Watch Of For Jeff K. Man He’s The Haxor El33t On The Intarnet. 6/10

Pirates Always Win… And In This Case It’s No Exception. 7/10

After All This Is America.. I Mean Dunmore, I Mean Communist Russia. AhhhH! 8/10

Damn Jim Bagleaducia And All His Merry Men. They Win! That And The Toaster Makes Me Hungry. 9/10

Of Course He Does… He Loves All His Children, And They Love Their Priests Too… This Sign Is Happy! 10/10

I Feel Sad Now! And So Do The Priests. 10/10…. A Tie

I Don’t Understand This. Help Me Jesus! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *Gets Sucked Into Black Hole Of Doom* 9/10

Aluminum Foil For My Head? OMG I Want Some Rite Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 10/10

Yes Dogs Do Like It Chewy! I Don’t Know Why.. But They Do Damnit! 9/10

No SomethingAwful… You Are Getting The AssKicking. 7/10

 

 

The Totals: Marty – 89… SomethingAwful – 83.9.. The Winner: Marty “Mad Hatter” Ort. Welcome To The Jungle Smart Asses. I Am Smarter Than You… And In Conclusion: